I Saw Tears Rolling Down His Eyes
(spoken during the Viraha Mahotsava, 2017 in Faridabad)
I had long association of Maharaja but I am very forgetful. Yet, as some memories are coming to me, I will share them.
For the first time when Maharaja came to Chandigarh in 1969, our math was not built yet. At that time Guru Maharaja, Sri Srimad Bhakti Dayita Madhava Gosvami Maharaja, had written me a letter informing me that Narottama (Maharaj's brahmacari name) is coming to Chandigarh, you have to go and welcome him at the Railway Station. He is coming for the first time to Chandigarh and so go and bring him to the math.
I went and received him at the station in the morning and from then on, I was in his association. Whenever Maharaja had free time I would go and sit at his feet and he would read about Sad-Gosvamis, Rupa Gosvami, Raghunatha dasa Gosvami and as he read I saw tears would roll down from his eyes. When after a whole day's work, he would feel tired, he would ask me sometimes 'Would you climb on my back and stand' and I would say yes. He would lie down and I would stand on his back. At that time I would remember Mahaprabhu's pastimes of being served by Govinda who would massage Lord's tired feet. One day Mahaprabhu lies down just close to and in front of the door. Govinda sees Mahaprabhu is in deep sleep and so spreads his upper garment over Mahaprabhu's body and crosses over Him to serve Him. Mahaprabhu is in deep sleep and so he sits there waiting. When He woke up He saw Govinda sitting by His side and asked, “You will not have lunch today?” Govinda replied, “Prabhu, how could I go when You are sleeping in the doorway.” Mahaprabhu said, “Just as you came to serve Me.” He replied, “While coming I came to serve you and now, to serve myself, for my self-enjoyment how can I cross and go?” When Mahaprabhu gave way, he went and honoured prasad. I would remember this instance and climb on Maharaj's back to serve.
Pujyapada Visnu Maharaja used to say there are various types of Guru sevakas. One type is an adhama sevaka, lowest sevaka, when Gurudeva gives him some seva he will go but will not finish the work, another type is when Gurudeva sends him out he will go but go here and there to do other works, or give some reasons, excuses why he cannot go and make Guru think why at all I asked him to do the work, and the third type is when sent on some work will go and finish the work and come. Some are like arrows when sent on work will go and would not come back to report. There are some who will perform work exactly as told and nothing else.
Yet another class of sevakas know what Gurudeva likes, what Guruji may need, what will be good in the given situation, keep track of Guruji's appointments, he will use his intelligence and think to serve as appropriately to match Guruji's desire and requirements - an uttama sevaka. Our Maharaja was an uttama sevaka of Guruji, he would think well in advance of Guruji's requirements, needs and make necessary arrangements and serve according to Guruji's desires. Never would he say about any of the difficulties he may have encountered but readily go to serve at any time, any place according to Guruji's instructions. Thus, he was the best sevaka of Gurudeva. There are many more things to speak in his glories. But my memory fails me.
Another thing is, Maharaja would unfailingly remember Vaisnava tithis as they appear and even remember coming tithis. He would speak about the glories of the Vaisnavas on their tithis without fail, where as due to bad memory, I fail to remember Vaisnavas and commit offences on this count. But Maharaja would remember and invariably speak about the Vaisnavas and Srila Prabhupada's associates. Another contribution is Srila Maharaja translated Sri Caitanya Caritamrta and Sri Caitanya Bhagavata in Hindi for the benefit of the Hindi speaking devotees. Before leaving this world, he has given us these books translated in Hindi which are a real treasure for us.