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  • Sasikala Devi Dasi (Vrndavana), Disciple

"I Am With You"

My most respectful and beloved Gurudeva,

On this most blessed event of your Vyasa Puja, please accept my humble obeinsances at your lotus feet.

Dear Gurudeva, I have no qualification to glorify you. I cannot make any progress in spiritual life without your mercy. You are like an affectionate spiritual father who is so merciful and your love for your disciples is unlimited.

I feel very fortunate to be your disciple. I first heard you speak on Srimad Bhagavatam at Gopinatha Bhavan and at that very moment I accepted you in my mind as my spiritual master and my happiness knew no bounds when I received initiation from you. 

In almost every alternate lecture, you would stress about serving Vaisnavas and glorifying them on their appearance and disappearance days. Your every word gives me deep faith in devotional service. From your own precept you have shown and inspired us about following the instructions of the guru varga and serving the Vaisnavas. Thank you for engaging me in your lecture titling seva, as it is very nourishing to hear you everyday. 

You showered your affection upon me, when my husband passed away in January 2017. Only by your grace, you somehow arranged for your caranamrta to be delivered to my husband in his last moments on this planet. You guided me how I should now conduct my life. You said, “Go for hari-katha, serve, read Srimad Bhagavatam, honour prasadam. You will be ok. I am with you.”

Those words ‘I am with you’ have been the very source of my strength ever since you said them. Earlier I would feel fearful to be in the house alone, since, for 73 years of my life I had never been alone in the house even for a few hours, coming from a joint family all along. But now, at 74, I am living all alone and I am surprised that I don't feel any fear, because I am convinced that you are always with me. This is truly a miracle. You have also arranged for me to have constant sanga in the form of my daughter and son-in-law. Thus I always feel your presence in my life. Whenever I am in any kind of need, you immediately send help. I can never forget how you affectionately smiled at me during one of my last darsanas with you. You have always encouraged me.

Gurudeva, please smash my pride, my selfishness and false ego. Please help me to open up my heart to your divine grace. Please give me clear vision of my worthless and useless position and give me a drop of humility and sincerity. Please guide in such a way that I don't offend Vaisnavas. Please forgive all my offenses at your lotus feet.

Your unworthy servant,

Sasikala Devi Dasi (Vrndavana) 

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