- Ashalata Devi Dasi (Malaysia), Siksa Disciple
"Those Eyes Held So Much Compassion, Affection and Love"
All Glories to Sri Sri Guru and Gauranga! Dandavat pranama to all Vaishnavas and Vaishnavis, Hankering … It was during one of the many Navadwipa parikrama, that we, (my husband Vallabhi Kanta prabhu and I) met Srila Maharaja at Sri Caitanya Gaudiya Math for the first time… There he was seated, elegantly Looking serene and beautiful A few devotees, including us, touched his lotus feet Unperturbed by what was going on He simply glanced mercifully at us, smiled to some and answered questions to others After the disappearance of my beloved Srila Gurudeva, (Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja), we were lost Completely feeling alone in the dark abyss of this world The heart ached, and it still does, hoping for another spiritual guide To light up the path once more Where we happily lived, thinking that the dreaded moment will never come But it did… All lights darkened - the heart feels empty Walking aimlessly with tears We cry out for our master – like a lost puppy pining for the moon Then again emerged from the abyss, a glimmer of hope to guide us once more That happy feeling enveloped us, with much enthusiasm We read about Srila Maharaja and his glories spread We yearned to be near an instructing spiritual master to take us further The year 2017 came … It was during the Samadhi inauguration of my beloved Srila Gurudeva We once again met Srila Maharaja Meeting with old devotee friends during Srila Maharaja’s Hari Katha, felt like the good old times Sweetness embraced us Srila Maharaja’s Hari Katha were sweeter than sweetness itself We were able to touch his lotus feet Those merciful lotus feet were there for all to touch and behold! It was by divine grace a personal darshan was arranged By the grace of Sripad Tapasvi Maharaja, we were taken to his room Once inside, he looked at us Oh that look! – so intense, and over flowing with love Looking at two lost puppies pining for their master Those eyes held so much compassion, affection and love Immediately, we were given some prasadam by Srila Maharaja Srila Maharaja then, gave us instructions which will please our beloved Srila Gurudeva It was such a sweet, sweet darshan that we will never forget Most of all I will remember the way Srila Maharaja looked at me It was just like how my Srila Gurudeva looked A look that says it all – “I am always with you.” Deep down inside I still hanker for that physical presence of both my beloved Srila Gurudeva and Srila Maharaja But at the same time, I take solace that my guiding spiritual masters will always be there for me. My only desire is to always serve them till my last breath Therefore, this puppy is always hankering … aspiring to serve Sri Hari, Guru, Vaishnavas and Vaishnavis ashalata devi dasi / vallabhi kanta dasa (siksa disciples / Malaysia)