I have distinct memories of the day I got initiated last year. It was a sweltering afternoon in May when my benevolent Gurudev showered upon me the cooling rays of his ahaituki kripa and made this wretched conditioned soul a part of Krishna's family. Earlier that day before meeting Gurudev, I was listening to one of his lectures on youtube in which he was describing the importance of establishing sambandha with Krishna as the first step in our devotional life. He spoke about sambandha again at the time of the diksha ceremony, almost as if he was reading my mind. This particular instance made me realize the omniscience of Srila Gurudev and his merciful stance towards fallen souls like me. Due to my innumerable material desires, laziness, time constraints due to my job, I have surely not been a good disciple and everything seems so difficult at the current situation I am in my life.
On this must auspicious occasion, I am praying and begging to my dearest Gurudev, to give me the strength to move forward amidst all these challenging trials and engage my body, mind, soul in the seva of his lotus feet at all times. I am reminded of these 2 lines from one of my most favorite hindi bhajan:
nahin Natha bhulana mujhe, iss jag mein akela hun
tere dvar ka bhikari hun, nahin dil se bhula dena
gurudev kripa karke mujhko apna lena!
(O master, please do not forget me, who am all alone in this world. I am a beggar at your door. Please do not let your heart forget me. Gurudeva, have mercy on me, take me as your own.)
This is my only hope, my only shelter and my only desire.