"Thank You For Instructing Me Through My Dreams"
I would like to first thank all the Vaisnavas and Vaisnavis for the opportunity to offer an homage to Srila Gurudeva. Secondly I wish to pay my humble obeisances to Srimati Syamarani Devi Dasi for her constant guidance and for her mercifully bringing me to the lotus feet of Srila Bhakti Vijnana Bharati Goswami Maharaja. All of you have saved my life and so now you possess it in full.
My most worshipful spiritual master is an ocean of mercy and the abode of pure love. Nothing is a more accurate description of him; because he has accepted a rascal like me as a servant of his servants. I pray for one thing over and over...that I might one day live up to what it means to be your true disciple.
I wish to tell you Gurudeva that I am still working on the promise I made to you that I will work towards creating an ashram in Maine, and everywhere else, so Lord Caitanya's Holy Name will be in every town and village. Since this is the only Seva I had ever gotten your express blessings to do it means more to me than my own life.. I pray that I will please you with my efforts and I know you are watching.
I would like to thank you for mercifully coming into my dreams three times last fall in order to give me instructions and encourage me with the knowledge that you see everything and are always watching over me; conspiring for my eternal well fair. I feel I must share with everyone about these experiences so hopefully their love for you will expand exponentially.
The first dream was when you were causually walking by with Srila Tapasvi Maharaja holding your arm.. as you approached me you looked at me at said "so this is my new servant..?" To this day this brings me to tears knowing that you have accepted me and gone out of your way to tell me through the medium of this supernatural dream. Thank you again and again and again...
The second dream was when you came to pull my ear and redirect me towards more meticulous Deity worship. You stood in a kitchen preparing some medicine and I approached you to ask if there is any way I can serve you to which you responded " take better care of washing the dishes for the Deities.." I immediately awoke from this dream and went to go check the condition of the dishes used to serve Sri Nitai Gaur which you installed for me to serve and to my great shame the dish was put away with having a few unclean spots left on it... I cannot conceive of how they could have been put away so dirty except that I am a most fallen and ignorant wretch.. despite my hopless position you still come to me to save me from the innumerable offenses I would accrue without your grace.
Lastly you came in a dream to tell me to grow Tulasi and worship Her. I beg you to empower me to be able to serve Srimati Tulasi-Devi and worship Her in a befitting way.
As I reflect on these experiences my love and faith in you is solidified and I know I will never leave your service. Please come to me again in my dreams or through any means necessary to bind my heart tightly to your lotus feet. Thank you so much for sending Srila Tapasvi Maharaja to Maine so that I can serve him with great affection and hear your instructions coming from his lotus lips. I know you understand, being tri-kala jnana, that I am completely unqualified to render service to him or any Vaisnava, but you forcibly make me accept such Seva because you know that if I do not get the dust from their feet as my hat then there is no way I can destroy the myriad anarthas which plague my consciousness.
Even though for me to accept such Seva is as dangerous as walking on razor blades, due to my offensive nature, because you tell me to honor Vaisnavas and serve them with reverence I have no other alternative path. I will continue this path indefinitely following in your footsteps..
Thank you for everything..
Your servant's servant Adi Govinda Dasa