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"Those Eyes Held So Much Compassion, Affection and Love"

All Glories to Sri Sri Guru and Gauranga!
Dandavat pranama to all Vaishnavas and Vaishnavis,

Hankering …

It was during one of the many Navadwipa parikrama, that we, (my husband Vallabhi Kanta prabhu and I) met Srila Maharaja at Sri Caitanya Gaudiya Math for the first time…

There he was seated, elegantly
Looking serene and beautiful
A few devotees, including us, touched his lotus feet
Unperturbed by what was going on
He simply glanced mercifully at us, smiled to some and answered questions to others
After the disappearance of my beloved Srila Gurudeva, (Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Gosvami Maharaja), we were lost
Completely feeling alone in the dark abyss of this world
The heart ached, and it still does, hoping for another spiritual guide
To light up the path once more
Where we happily lived, thinking that the dreaded moment will never come
But it did…
All lights darkened - the heart feels empty
Walking aimlessly with tears 
We cry out for our master – like a lost puppy pining for the moon
Then again emerged from the abyss, a glimmer of hope to guide us once more
That happy feeling enveloped us, with much enthusiasm
We read about Srila Maharaja and his glories spread
We yearned to be near an instructing spiritual master to take us further
The year 2017 came …
It was during the Samadhi inauguration of my beloved Srila Gurudeva
We once again met Srila Maharaja
Meeting with old devotee friends during Srila Maharaja’s Hari Katha, felt like the good old times
Sweetness embraced us
Srila Maharaja’s Hari Katha were sweeter than sweetness itself
We were able to touch his lotus feet
Those merciful lotus feet were there for all to touch and behold!
It was by divine grace a personal darshan was arranged
By the grace of Sripad Tapasvi Maharaja, we were taken to his room
Once inside, he looked at us
Oh that look! – so intense, and over flowing with love 
Looking at two lost puppies pining for their master
Those eyes held so much compassion, affection and love
Immediately, we were given some prasadam by Srila Maharaja
Srila Maharaja then, gave us instructions which will please our beloved Srila Gurudeva
It was such a sweet, sweet darshan that we will never forget
Most of all I will remember the way Srila Maharaja looked at me
It was just like how my Srila Gurudeva looked
A look that says it all – “I am always with you.”
Deep down inside I still hanker for that physical presence of both my beloved Srila Gurudeva and Srila Maharaja
But at the same time, I take solace that my guiding spiritual masters will always be there for me.
My only desire is to always serve them till my last breath
Therefore, this puppy is always hankering …

aspiring to serve Sri Hari, Guru, Vaishnavas and Vaishnavis
ashalata devi dasi / vallabhi kanta dasa
(siksa disciples / Malaysia)


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